5. Smallville
I'm not sure why I keep watching this show. The first two seasons of this show were incredible. The storylines were involving, the characters were interesting, and the Superman mythos was constantly evolving. The show is just a shadow of its former self now. Nevertheless, I've been watching the show for five years now and I plan to keep on going. Season five was at least heading in the right direction even if the show still relies way too heavily on the "freak of the week" formula. He's fucking Superman! Give the guy an enemy that's going to challenge him! Brainiac was a good start. Ending the season with Lex Luthor possessed by General Zod and Clark trapped in the Phantom Zone certainly has my undivided attention. Metropolis is burning and the world looks like it's in for an ass whoopin. We'll see what happens on Thursday. (Smallville airs Thursdays at 9pm on the CW)
4. Law & OrderThe original is still the best. Law & Order has been on the air for 17 seasons! Holy shit! My one brother isn't that old! I only got into this show last year with the repeats that run pretty much all the time on TNT. Perry Mason and Matlock can kiss my ass; Jack McCoy is the best damn lawyer that television has ever offered. If my loved one is ever shot up by a transvestite drug pushing pedophile, I'll know who to go to for the conviction. The "Law" half of the show has undergone a few changes this year with Detective Green being made senior partner and being paired with the first female detective on the show. The show lost some steam when the late Jerry Orbach's character Detective Briscoe was replaced, but it's the intriguing criminal plots mixed with complex social commentary that keeps me coming back for me. The season opener was impressive. I intend to keep watching. (Law & Order airs Fridays at 9pm on NBC)
3. Aqua Teen Hunger ForceI'm not sure what the hell happened to this show. It apparently hasn't been cancelled, but new episodes haven't been on since 2005. Adult Swim even promised an Aqua Teen movie that I have yet to see. This show is one that never fails to make me laugh. The bizarre characters, nonsensical humor, and completely social commentary-less plots never fail to make me laugh (okay, the brain spore episode was pretty bad, but that's just one). If you're wondering how these food products are capable of talking and wondering why they seem to interact with regular people with little difficulty, maybe this show isn't for you. They ran a detective agency for a few early episodes, but now they pretty much do whatever. If you can just shut down your brain and enjoy it, then you might stand a chance. Just be warned: They're not teenagers, they're not a force, and water is seldom involved. (Aqua Teen Hunger Force airs apparently at random on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim)
2. HouseThis is almost my favorite show on television, and a lot of people agree with me. This is one of FOX's highest rated shows, and everyone that I've convinced to watch it has loved it. In fact, I was converted by one of my old roommates last year. It's the best show that no one knew about. The show isn't about a House. It's not a sequel to This Old House. It's a show about Dr. Gregory House. He's the asshole cripple that you can't help but love. Trying to figure out his character is one of the best parts of the show. Dr. House is by no means a simple man. Even the staff can't figure him out. If you're going to give this show a chance, always keep the volume up and pay attention or else you'll miss House's classic one-liners. The show seemlessly blends humor, drama, and medical mystery. Each episode is self contained with a new medical mystery being presented to House in each new episode, but the characters are constantly changing and evolving to meet House's latest quirks. This season, House has apparently been cured of constant pain (which stems from a leg wound) and no longer needs his cane; nevertheless, he continues to rely on it for some reason. What's going on in his head? Well if we knew that, why the hell would we watch? (House airs Tuesdays at 8pm on FOX whenever the fucking World Series is over anyway.)
1. Battlestar GalacticaI take a lot of grief for liking this show, but always from people who have never seen it. They hear the name and immediately think of the cheesy 70's Galactica that's frequently derided on Family Guy and The Simpsons. But this new Battlestar Galactica is a completely different show. This is not a shoot-em-up space cowboy show. This is a serious show about the survival of the remnants of humanity. The show's premise is taken from the old show, but that's about it. There are 12 colonies of Kobol inhabited by humans. While the 70s show made these people look like rejects from a Shakespeare festival, the new show takes great pains to make these people as real as possible. The new Galactica approaches them as planets that developed very much like our own. The Cylons, robots created to serve human kind, attack the 12 colonies in the pilot leaving the Galactica, the last battlestar of the Colonial fleet, to guide the last remnants of humanity to the mythical 13th colony of (you guessed it) Earth. The best characters on the show are Admiral Adama (Edward James Olmos), the hardassed commander of the Galactica who takes absolutely no shit from anyone; President Laura Roslyn (Mary McDonnell), the leader of the civilian population of the fleet; and Dr. Gaius Baltar, the backstabbing, self-serving, Cylon-hallucinating, ego-maniacal collaborator who was partially responsible for the Cylons being able to destroy the Colonies (of course no one knows this for sure). This show would probably best be described as military science fiction. It takes a very realist approach to the entire genre. There are no laser pistols, transporters, holodecks, or whatever. These people are essentially humans as they are today if we could travel in space. When we last left the show, Baltar had been elected President of the Colonies and the fleet had settled on a harsh planet dubbed "New Caprica" believing it to be safe from Cylon attack. The season ended with the Cylon fleet showing up in orbit and Cylon troops marching through the main encampment. Season three will pick up with a Cylon occupation in full force and Admiral Adama planning a rescue operation. Maybe this show isn't for everbody, but it's my favorite show right now. If you don't like it, you can go straight to hell because I don't give a shit. (Battlestar Galactica airs Fridays at 9pm on the SciFi Channel [at the same time as Law & Order you might notice; something must be taped...])
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