Das Reboot

"Reboot, in series fiction, means to discard all previous continuity in the series and start anew. Effectively, all previously-known history is declared by the writer to be null and void and the series starts over from the beginning. It is analogous to the process of rebooting a computer." -- Wikipedia

As readers of this blog are aware, my current favorite show right now is the new Battlestar Galactica. This series, despite how totally kickass it is now, is based on a cheesy, goofy, campy, and ridiculous series of the same name that was created in 1978. The new Galactica is a complete reboot of this old series. The campy show was given a total overhaul that utilized the main premise but took the show in an entirely different direction. The producers consciously tried to make the show more realistic, edgy, shocking, and contemporary.

Well I thought it might be interesting to apply this same idea to a number of different shows. So without further ado, here are my ideas for reboots of old forgotten television shows that deserve a second chance:

Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood - In this new version of the classic children's show, Fred Rogers (played by Christopher Walken) hides out in his little house in order to evade the police. Instead of simply sitting on the couch and feeding his fish, this Mr. Rogers makes frequent trips to the Land of Make Believe where he teabags King Friday.

Full House - Danny Tannero, a former mob boss, must put up with his three gothic daughters after a rival mob boss kills his wife. He orders two of his most trusted men to live in his mansion to keep watch. All seems to go well until Uncle Jessie kills Joe in a fit of rage after he finds Joe and DJ in bed with Mr. Woodchuck.

Manimal - Dr. Jonathan Chase is a mild-mannered man who acquires the power to turn into any animal that he chooses. Instead of using his power for good, Chase uses his powers to unleash vengeance upon those who wrong him. In the pilot episode, a waitress accidentally spills Chase's coffee into his lap. Chase turns into a bear and mauls her. In another episode, Chase morphs into a boa constrictor and strangles Jehovah's Witnesses.

Clarissa Explains it All - Teenager Clarissa Darling is a problem child of divorced parents. Deaing with her heroin-addict mother and alcoholic father make her life extremely difficult. In an early episode, Clarissa gets knocked up by Sam, the syphillis-infected football star, and she must go to her brother Ferguson, a registered sex offender, to get an abortion. Clarissa's discussions with the audience often lead to minutes of angry ranting with candid discussions of her sex life and problems with anorexia and acid trips. The show airs on HBO due to graphic nudity and strong language.

Bill Nye the Science Guy - Having spent years explaining typical scientific theories, Bill Nye moves on to more... unusual ideas. He explores concepts such as cloning of pelicans, mutant supermen, growing multiple genitals, and using a cow brain as a car battery. Bill Nye, even as his friends try to get him psychiatric counseling, constantly pushes the envelope. The series is cancelled prematurely when Nye attempts to impregnate himself with the sperm of an emperor penguin.

The Pink Panther - In an attempt to bring in wider range of viewers, FOX reboots the old Pink Panther cartoons. The new Panther enjoys the homosexual lifestyle afforded by his ritzy New York fashion job. The storyline follows the Pink Panther's love troubles with the likes of Woody Woodpecker, Huckleberry Hound, and Snagglepuss. Although the characters resemble their original counterparts in most respects, the creators chose to make them anatomically correct leading some critics to wonder if they should really remain naked.

Saved by the Bell - Well... hmmm.... you know, I don't think any amount of reworking can make this show watchable.