"I'm sorry, but your hemophiliac five-year-old daughter was killed 20 years ago by your cancer-ridden wife and her pedophile boyfriend who was actually your long-lost half brother. Aren't you glad I helped?"I watch a lot of television, but believe it or not, there are some shows I don't catch at all. Some shows I only catch occasionally, and one of those occasional shows is the CBS show Cold Case. My parents watch it a lot, so I usually watch if they're watching. This is easily the most melodramatic show I've ever seen. There is no emotional heart-string that this show won't try to manipulate.
The show revolves around some detectives (whose names I've never cared to learn) who investigate cases that are in the Cold Case Files (police cases that were never able to be solved at the time). Each episode uses a lot of flashbacks to tell the stories of the people involved in the case those many years ago.
The show has its good points. For one, it shows how different people have dealt with the crime years after the incident. The episodes that are actually kinda good involve crimes that took place in the 30's, 40's, or 50's because they show how the crime influenced a lot of people over a long period of time. It's an interesting premise to be sure. I also have to give props to the music. They always use music from the year that the crime took place. Of course, they usually choose really sappy/tragic songs to force you to that bottle of Prozac just a little bit faster.
On the other hand, the stories are so laughably over the top. On one episode, a kid who worked in his meathead dad's grocery store wanted to be a street dancer, but his jealous brother, who hurt his knee in a fight the two had, killed his brother because the injury ruined his chances for a football scholarship. The dancing boy actually shouted at his father, "I WANT TO DANCE!!! WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT THAT??"
In the one I saw the other night, a mother tried to commit suicide with her infant daughter because she thought she was a bad mother. She survived, but the baby didn't. Once the case was unraveled, they show the family coming to terms with this as Journey's "Open Arms" plays over the scene. If a more melodramatic scene exists, I'll French-kiss a puma. This isn't exactly an upbeat show. The color scheme for the show is gray. The locales are dark and gray. The characters wear black and gray. Even the film is kinda washed out. Each episode makes me want to kill myself or others.
The detectives really come off like assholes too. They're investigating tragedies that everyone has already dealt with and moved on from. The family doesn't want the investigation. The actually killer CERTAINLY doesn't want it. The public could give a shit about a murder from years ago. The main character's usual justification? The dead person deserves closure. The episode usually ends with the same main character staring at some bizarre afterimage of the victim as the tragic song plays.
This show is fucking strange.
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The Cold Case Department: Using your tax dollars to investigate crimes that nobody wants to have solved since Sherlock Holmes retired to Maui.
The show revolves around some detectives (whose names I've never cared to learn) who investigate cases that are in the Cold Case Files (police cases that were never able to be solved at the time). Each episode uses a lot of flashbacks to tell the stories of the people involved in the case those many years ago.
The show has its good points. For one, it shows how different people have dealt with the crime years after the incident. The episodes that are actually kinda good involve crimes that took place in the 30's, 40's, or 50's because they show how the crime influenced a lot of people over a long period of time. It's an interesting premise to be sure. I also have to give props to the music. They always use music from the year that the crime took place. Of course, they usually choose really sappy/tragic songs to force you to that bottle of Prozac just a little bit faster.
On the other hand, the stories are so laughably over the top. On one episode, a kid who worked in his meathead dad's grocery store wanted to be a street dancer, but his jealous brother, who hurt his knee in a fight the two had, killed his brother because the injury ruined his chances for a football scholarship. The dancing boy actually shouted at his father, "I WANT TO DANCE!!! WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT THAT??"
In the one I saw the other night, a mother tried to commit suicide with her infant daughter because she thought she was a bad mother. She survived, but the baby didn't. Once the case was unraveled, they show the family coming to terms with this as Journey's "Open Arms" plays over the scene. If a more melodramatic scene exists, I'll French-kiss a puma. This isn't exactly an upbeat show. The color scheme for the show is gray. The locales are dark and gray. The characters wear black and gray. Even the film is kinda washed out. Each episode makes me want to kill myself or others.
The detectives really come off like assholes too. They're investigating tragedies that everyone has already dealt with and moved on from. The family doesn't want the investigation. The actually killer CERTAINLY doesn't want it. The public could give a shit about a murder from years ago. The main character's usual justification? The dead person deserves closure. The episode usually ends with the same main character staring at some bizarre afterimage of the victim as the tragic song plays.
This show is fucking strange.
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The Cold Case Department: Using your tax dollars to investigate crimes that nobody wants to have solved since Sherlock Holmes retired to Maui.
2 comments:
You really should tune back in to Rock of Love and Scott Baio is 45 & Single.
Oh I intend to. Especially the Scott Baio - I'm a sucker for shows involving lovable assholes.
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