Mimetic Genetics

Have you ever watched an episode of a TV show that involved the main characters dredging up a story about their ancestors, which leads to a flashback episode involving those ancestors... except that the same actors from the show play their own grandparents (or great-grandparents as the case may be)? For instance, Walker Texas Ranger featured several episodes where Chuck Norris played his own great-grandfather as a sheriff in the Old West. Don't you hate it when that happens? What are the odds that a guy would look exactly like his own grandfather? What about the influence of both the grandmother's and mother's genes? That seems like common sense.

Well fuck common sense. Turns out one CAN look just like one's own grandfather.

The picture above is the wedding photo of my grandmother and grandfather (on my dad's side). Notice anything... familiar about my grandfather?
He looks JUST LIKE ME!

(Actually, this picture doesn't quite illustrate it properly, but if you know me personally, you can probably already see the resemblance.)

This revelation occurred this past Christmas when the family was looking at a compilation of wedding pictures that had been assembled for my grandparents' anniversary. (The post is occurring now because I only recently got a digital copy of the picture.) My brother is sitting there staring at my grandparents' picture and then squinting at me. Finally, he says, "You know what? Grandpap looks EXACTLY like [JP]!!"

No one (including me) had picked up on this, but once it was pointed out, everyone saw it. The big ears, the squinty eyes, the furrowed brow, the awkward smile, the ruggedly handsome physique. It's all there. We asked my grandma about it, and she said, "Oh I've noticed that for years." Thanks for letting me know, grandma. (Though imagining my grandmother's perspective regarding me looking like the younger version of her husband leaves me confused and deeply disturbed.)

My grandfather was in the hospital at the time recovering from heart surgery, so when we went to see him, we couldn't help but bring it up. "I've known for a long time..." he drawled in his usual gruff fashion. As coincidence would have it, I was wearing my stylish pea coat at the time, which reminded him of his Navy days. This led to an odd reminscience from my grandfather about a torrid romance between he and his female commanding officer (he had been a nurse) while in the Navy during WWII. The story sounded delightfully scandalous... until he revealed that she was critically wounded at one point, and he had to assist in the failed surgery to save her. Awkward silences abounded.

The unfortunate implication of looking exactly like a younger version of your grandfather is that, logically, you will eventually look like the CURRENT version of your grandfather. Oh how I wish I had a present-day picture of him to put up here to illustrate why this concerns me. On the plus side, he's like 87 years old, so maybe that bodes well for my longevity.

Alternatively, I accept that this photo could be evidence that I will one day travel back in time to become my own grandfather, thus creating a paradoxical time loop that will destroy the multiverse.

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"Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm-My-Own-Grandpa!"