I now believe in God... because I believe he hates me.Astute readers may remember that I recently bumbled into an interview with a company in Washington D.C. It was, without question, the best opportunity I had found so far. It was a position with a well-respected company doing research about how to improve higher education programs. I met a guy in a relatively high position of power at the company, and he was able to help me get my foot in the door. I was qualified, and it was something that I wanted to do. I really wanted this job.
And today they turned me down.
Two weeks ago, I had a screening interview over the phone with someone in the company's human resources department. The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Perfect Interview has this to say about a screening interview: "Its purpose is not to identify and harvest talent, but to eliminate 'unacceptable' candidates in order to save the valuable time of the senior executive--the person with the power to hire you." The screening interview is essentially used to weed out the flotsam that doesn't meet the minimum requirements. I'm not only flotsam... but jetsam as well.
(And I'm upset... so I don't need to hear any complaints about my excessive nautical verbiage.)
I thought the screening interview went very well. I said all the right things; I plugged my research experience, my dedication to long-term projects, and I had some terrific stuff to say about how my teaching improved not only my ability to work well with others but my own research as well. In my mind, I was perfect: dedicated researcher with fresh ideas, a Masters degree, and experience working in higher education. I even had a guy who worked at the company who could put in a good word for me.
In short, it's not that I failed to get a job that's got me upset. It's that I had everything going for me this time... and I STILL failed. And after the SCREENING interview of all things. I wasn't even good enough to warrant an in-person interview.
My qualifications are about as marketable as sand in the Sahara. I have to give serious thought to how I want to proceed. After 60 unsuccessful job applications, it's clear to me now that this idea of breaking into the corporate world is just not going to pan out. What's worse is that I applied to four adjunct Composition positions at local colleges in the area, and I haven't heard back from any of them. I can't even get a job in a field in which I actually have experience!
As if life decided that my Christmas holiday wouldn't be complete without piling on the fail, I got my LSAT scores back the other day. For those not following along with the blog, I was recently considering law school, and while I decided I didn't really want to go, I signed up for the LSAT anyway just to see how I'd do. I figured if I did extremely well, it might be an area to consider. Fortunately for the world of law, I only scored in the 60th percentile, which isn't terrible, but it's not exactly a riveting endorsement of my potential legal prowess.
So I'm stumped now. I emailed the guy who first put me in contact with that company to see if he knew of any other companies that might have a use for my skills. I'm not holding my breath on that one. I think I'll also try a headhunter to see if a professional salesman can make JP the Busted Stationwagon look like a sleek Lamborghini to desperate companies.
But I believe the most promising option is what I've blogged about before... getting my teaching certification. I'm extremely qualified, and I've wanted to be a teacher forever. It may not be the perfect job, but goddammit, if I was perfectly satisfied, I'd have nothing to bitch about on this blog.
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If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. If you still don't succeed after 60 tries, you may be doomed to a life of failure.
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