Can I be as jubilant as this man??My New Years' Resolutions for 2009:
10. Watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I haven't seen it yet, and my geeky troika is not complete having only seen every Star Wars and Star Trek movie. I'd have zero street cred at the Comic Con.
9. Lose 44 pounds... not for reasons of health or vanity, but so that I will be light enough to safely skydive out of an airplane. I'll show those aerodynamic motherfuckers who's a flight risk.
8. Become a space pirate, or failing that, a cocky omnipotent energy being who trifles with Earth starships while dressed as a 19th century fop.
7. Stop making obscure Star Trek references on my blog. The majority of people don't understand them, and the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one.
6. Find Jesus. He's always in the last place you look.
5. Find a way to spin the wheel on the Wheel of Fortune set. I've been dreaming about that since I was three years old.
4. Buy personalized license plate: "JP 4 PREZ", "HOT 4 JP", and "JP 8 PIE" are all acceptable.
3. Start smoking and then quit. It'll make me seem dedicated and responsible.
2. Help the local community by ensuring that Batmite is registered as a sex offender.
1. Create illegal counterfeiting operation should the job search not pan out.
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<-- Not hard to copy with the proper paper and printer... and folks in Kittanning are mighty stupid.
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