Another Christmas has come and gone, and once again I enjoyed the holiday season. Despite my many protestations regarding religion, faith, and ridiculous rituals, I get a big kick out of Christmas. That may have something to do with the presents and cookies that come my way (I got a new laptop for Christmas!! WOOT!!), but I also enjoy the sappy Christmas carols and outlandish decorations too. It's likely the comfort of traditions that I remember every single year. In my family, religion has never really played a big part in Christmas, and this joyous holiday season when one appreciates his or her many blessings, I thank God that God was kept out of my holiday shenanigans.This is not to imply that my entire family consists of heathens. It's just that church and Christmas always seemed to be rather separate... just as they should be.
Actually, if religion were taken out of the equation, Christmas would be a lot more fun for everyone. Every year on TV, people bemoan the increased commercialization of Christmas. There are interviews Christmas-philes who want to ensure that people remember that Christmas is about a poor Middle Eastern virgin with a penchant for turquoise robes getting knocked up and conning a trioka of gullible kings into giving up their gold, frankincense, and myrrh (though I suspect the king with the gold was the only one they invited) just for a chance to sit in a shitty barn staring at a fetal-fresh God-baby. They like to lay on the guilt to the poor befuddled Christian masses who often forget that Christmas is supposed to be about celebrating the birth of baby Jesus. I suspect that a lot of people feel bad about not making Christmas more meaningful.
If you're an atheist like yours truly, however, Christmas can be about whatever the fuck you want it to be.
Very little about Christmas has anything to do with Jesus anyway. Most of the traditions that we associate with it are taken from pagan celebrations of the winter solstice. And while I'm badmouthing traditions, what the hell is there to celebrate about the winter solstice?? "Oh boy!! I get to freeze my balls off for another three months! Let's shove a tree into the living room and eat a ham!" Either way, trying to ascribe some sort of larger meaning to Christmas is a futile endeavor. Hell, scientists have apparently figured out that Jesus couldn't have been born in the wintertime. Apparently, the star that the three kings must have followed to Bethlehem is only visible in the summertime. Astronomy: 1 Jesus: 0.
As an atheist, I can appreciate Christmas for what it really is: a celebration of friends, family, and traditions. When I'm decorating the tree, I don't give a shit if Mary and Joseph had a three-way with a goat in the manger. I enjoy it because the ornaments remind me of years gone by. When I see the crappy ornament that I made in Preschool 20 years ago, it brings a smile to this grizzled cynic's face. The Christmas songs don't make me long for a personal connection with my savior. They're the earliest songs that I ever knew the words to, and it's comforting to sing those ridiculously corny lyrics.
At least until they play them on the radio ten dozen times. For fuck's sake, give it a rest ye merry gentlemen!!
As for the increased commercialization of Christmas, I'm all for it. Santa is a much better mascot for Christmas than Jesus. If you're a bad little boy or girl, Santa just leaves you a lump of coal in your stocking. Jesus sends your ass to hell to burn for all eternity. Santa only demands milk and cookies. Jesus wants your money every week in the collection plate. Santa sits you on his lap and asks you what you want, and then he gives it to you. Jesus demands an obtuse series of prayers that may or may not be answered according to his whims because he works in mysterious ways.
That's why kids gravitate to Santa more than Jesus. He's a much more likeable guy.
I like Christmas in its current form. If you put religion back into Christmas, it's just going to fuck it all up. My boss is a pastor at a local church, and she's very dedicated to holiday traditions. I spent a full two weeks helping her to decorate her mansion of a house. I even decorated her ten-foot tall Christmas tree. All the while, she played Christmas songs almost every day. I also helped to make her weekly church bulletins, which were of course Christmas-themed. She gets a big kick out of every holiday tradition, whether it's religious or not; however, the religious crap always seems completely unrelated to anything else that happens at Christmas. But the Christmas story takes place in a desert in the Middle East. For crying out loud, there wasn't a pine tree for hundreds of miles!! And I have my doubts about there being egg nog or gingerbread cookies present, too.
If Christmas brings you closer to God, then that's great. But I think the whole season can be just as fun for the atheist. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go light our Christmas tree on fire, strip naked, and dance in the moonlight while worshipping the dark lord Satan.
---------------------------------------
9 out of 10 readers find JP's comments offensive. The last reader is Jesus, and he's busy personally picking out a special place in Hell for JP.
No comments:
Post a Comment