Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I'm Fighting the Law and I'm Going to Kick Its Ass

Okay, I was all set to plead guilty to my speeding ticket (see previous blog). I went to the county magistrate's office all ready to pay whatever was needed for going 29 in a 25. That was until the secretary told me that the fine is $170.00!!! What kind of clusterfuck law enforcement is this town running?? So I decided to contest my ticket. The secretary told me that I'd have nothing to lose but my time.

Well there's nothing I do better than wasting time. These people have no idea what they're up against. If I had any sense, I'd go pay this damn ticket and get it over with. Maybe it's my affinity for Law & Order. This is my chance to be Jack McCoy and pull some clever legal maneuvers. I can't help it.

The judge (or whatever she was) didn't seem to indicate that there was any kind of standard accepted speed limit, so maybe Morgantown doesn't have one. Both the judge and the secretary think I have a good argument if I can prove it.

The judge suggested that I take a video camera along the road to film the proof that there's no signage. This sounds like courtroom entertainment waiting to happen. These people don't have anything exciting going on. I mean they do speeding tickets every day. Just because my video has to be informative doesn't mean that it can't also be entertaining. Justice may be blind, but cripples have a sense of humor too.

So I'll have a court date sometime in December or something. I'm really looking forward to it actually. I apparently have absolutely nothing to lose. Apparently, if I lose my court case, the maximum fine I can be given is $100.00. I get 70 bucks knocked off just for saying I'm innocent!!!

Isn't America great?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would offer my video services, but I'm a little far away now.

I agree with you -- go for the gusto. Entertain and win them over with love; there's nothing the judicial system loves more than rainbows and unicorns.

Anonymous said...

So, one of the gadets on my Google homepage is the How-To of the Day. Today's how-to you might ask? It seemed all to fitting for you... http://www.wikihow.com/Fight-a-Traffic-Ticket

Enjoy!

Mallory