Wednesday, December 05, 2007

An Apology to Dora and Diego

Last week I was sure that Dora the Explorer and Go Diego Go were the worst children's shows on television. This week, television proved me wrong. I was surfing through the channels yesterday morning, when a yellow robot and blue cat dancing caught my attention for a moment. I was curious and stopped on the channel. Suddenly a black guy in an orange afro and matching jumpsuit popped out yelling YO GABBA GABBA!!!

I couldn't turn away. Thus I was introduced to the show Yo! Gabba Gabba!

I've never dropped acid in my life, but somehow I imagine the experience being something like watching this show. The show just needs to be seen to be believed.



What is even going on there?? Why is there a wizard and a cowboy seen briefly? And a man with a mustache drawn onto his face? From the episode I watched, that has nothing to do with the show. On YouTube, the comment below the video from a man identifying himself as "kungfuabuse" reads, "The only people hating on this show are people who hate fun."

The premise of the show, as I understand it, is that this highly excitable black guy shows up with his puppets. Once he shouts, "YO GABBA GABBA!!" the puppets come to life and sing and dance. The orange-adorned black guy is seen as their god apparently, because all the puppets look to him for adoration and guidance. It seems like a strange conglomeration of Eureka's Castle and Pee Wee's Playhouse. That alone should scare you.

The messages this show teaches are terrible. The one song yesterday encouraged kids to "keep your hands to yourself." Apparently, touching is only acceptable for hugs and high-fives. The show is obsessed with high-fives. This show needs to be addressed on Law & Order: SVU, I felt so unclean after watching it.

Here's a classic that I found on YouTube:



The monster just ate the sentient food, and the other sentient food is sad... not because their friends were eaten, but because they want to go to the tummy party!

I don't think I can summon a big enough "WTF" for this.

I couldn't imagine what kind of twisted mind made this show, but then Wikipedia made everything crystal clear.

Here is the creator:
His name is Christian Jacobs, but he is better known by his alias, "The MC Bat Commander." But the absolute best part is that, according to Wikipedia, he's a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

He's a MORMON!!

[JP leans back in his chair and lets loose a belly laugh that scares the neighbors]

I just can't do anything to this show that it hasn't already done to itself. Compared to this, Dora and Diego are upstanding role models of sanity. I almost feel bad for blogging about this because it's such an easy target.

I think I should just review children's shows every week. With what's on TV these days, I fear for the sanity of future generations. Thank god I won't be teaching them.

--------------------
Yo! Gabba Gabba: Causing one-year olds to fear reality since August 2007.

12 comments:

Unknown said...

For shame! You left out the best part of Yo Gabba Gabba that I showed you last weekend.....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=whiodBT6IxE

My name's Nathaniel!! I like to daaaaaaayyyyn!!!!

Unknown said...

And another:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

Anonymous said...

"His name is Christian Jacobs, but he is better known by his alias, "The MC Bat Commander." But the absolute best part is that, according to Wikipedia, he's a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

He's a MORMON!!

[JP leans back in his chair and lets loose a belly laugh that scares the neighbors]"

Would it be even funnier if he was a Jew or a Muslim? How about a nigger? if other 23-year olds are as ignorant as you that really makes me fear for the future of America.

Unknown said...

Anonymous, don't do it for the Lulz.

Go read the archives and find out why it's amusing.

Unknown said...

Anyone else catch the 'Pitfall!' reference in the opening montage?

contemplator said...

if other 23-year olds are as ignorant as you that really makes me fear for the future of America.

If dumbasses like you actually read the background of this blog, you'd see why you should be laughing, too.

Do you know anything about Mormonism, or did you just have a knee-jerk reaction to what you perceived to be intolerance? Because a group of people that were racist until the early 70s, sprang off a side cult interested in polygamy, believe god lives on a star/planet (they change the doctrine periodically) named Kolob in some other as yet discovered galaxy, and go around wearing consecrated underwear for fear of Satanic infiltration, well, they're just FUCKING NUTS.

If you'd like to prove why we should take them seriously, then go for it. We'll be waiting right behind the "Native Americans are really Middle Easterners with mutated DNA" and the "Mormons with Middle Eastern DNA came to Central American in a submarine before that technology existed" doctrines.

It's out of context idiots like you that ARE the reason this country is what it is.

Anonymous said...

Dave: Totally my bad. I can't believe I had two independent experiences with Yo Gabba Gabba and completely missed the connection between the two. I fucked up there.

Anonymous: You know what else I love to do? I like to put on my white garb, burn a cross, throw some Jews down a well, eat small children, kick puppies, rape babies, and give nuns titty-twisters. HAR DEE HAR HAR!!

Contemplator: Wow! I couldn't have said it better. Seriously, I couldn't have done it. Double-Kudos!

contemplator said...

They'd have to make an extra tall white costume for you, though, wouldn't they? Oh, lord, I just imagined you standing in your hood with everybody else head and shoulders above them--gee, I wonder which one that guy is? LOLOL.

JP said...

That's the same reason that I can't commit any crimes.

"What did he look like?"
"Well officer, he was wearing a ski-mask, but he was about 6'5" tall and maybe 280 pounds."
"Oh we know just the guy."

Foiled again!

Anonymous said...

I think if I were a toddler I'd insist on swallowing my food whole to send them alive and happy to the tummy party--but I suppose that's a useless complaint when there's so much else wrong with this clip.

Anonymous said...

you're absolutely right. We should stick to shows like Sesame Street, Barney, and Mr. Rodgers' Neighbourhood for all time. Why would we want to present children with hip, independent thought when we can rehash the ABC123s the same way we've been doing since the 70s.

Anonymous said...

How can anybody hate MC Bat Commander? He's the leader of the Aquabats!