The "T" Stands for Tupperware

There are three basic truths about Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: the plot will always get more depraved than you could ever imagine, the normal looking guy is always a pedophile or rapist, and Ice-T must always be badass.

Rapper Ice-T plays Detective Odafin "Fin" Tutuola on SVU, and while every other character gets put through an emotional or ethical ringer on a regular basis, Ice-T never seems to get the short end of the stick. Even when some crazy sick shit goes down, Ice-T looks golden. In one episode, the entire team comes across a room filled with dead children who were killed by a religious fanatic. None of them handle it well, but a little bit later, Ice-T struts out of the office going, "Sometimes you just gotta step back, ya know!" Ice-T don't cry. Ice-T steps back.

The story goes that Ice-T asked series producer Dick Wolf how he was supposed to play the part, and Wolf told him to do what Ice-T would do if he were a cop. This is a man famous for a song called "Cop Killer," and yet the man who created Lennie Briscoe and Jack McCoy, the two most awesome characters in the Law & Order franchise, told Ice-T to play Ice-T. That would work for him. And this is a man whose name is "Dick Wolf" - he knows a thing or two about manliness.

But it turns out that the "Original Gangsta" has a softer side. About a month ago, I was watching Conan O'Brien, and Conan was interviewing our boy Ice-T. They were discussing Ice-T's new album, when Conan suddenly asked Ice-T about a tupperware party that he was apparently hosting. Not attending -- hosting. Ice-T was all too happy to talk about it. "Yo, tupperware is street, Conan." When Conan understandably laughed and scoffed at the idea of Ice-T throwing a tupperware party, Ice-T explained that rich people don't use tupperware because rich people don't have leftovers. Only poor people know about tupperware. Ice-T was annoyed because one critic asked, "What's next? Ice Cube doing a kids movie?" Ice-T's response: "Guess what, asshole! He's done two of 'em."

So Ice-T threw a tupperware party. And he apparently went all out. I was thinking about this interview today, and I started Googling around. Articles abound regarding Ice-T's baller tupperware party. There's even video footage of it:

He called it a "Tupper-Bowl" party. According to one website, Ice-T and his wife Coco (a swimsuit model no less) teamed up with Tupperware to host the first ever "Tupper-Bowl" party. This event celebrated the culmination of the Giants' football season and the upcoming Super Bowl. This all benefited the Kips Bay Boys and Girls Club of America.

Bitch, please! That yellow lid doesn't match!

Ice-T invited rappers and SVU co-workers. I could actually see Christopher Meloni, Mariska Hargitay, or even Richard Beltzer attending Ice-T's rocking tupperware party, but according to that same website, the ones who showed up were the lousy new guy and B.D. "gayest Asian man since George Takei" Wong.

I find all of this bizarre and fascinating. Ice-T is the epitome of heteronormative manliness (rapper, married to a supermodel, tough-guy demeanor), and yet he apparently longs for little touches of a softer suburbia. Ice-T's Tupper-Bowl party is like some bizarre nexus of straight-gay-black-white-urban-suburban-male-female life.

Of all the Ice rappers, who would have expected Ice Cube to star in children's movies and Ice-T to host a tupperware party? Of course, Vanilla Ice was in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II, so I guess they didn't get out unscathed either.

Here's to you, Ice-T!! You prove that real men don't like their leftovers to get moldy.

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Ice-T: His name may be cold, but inside he's a warm snuggy bear.