Monday, August 25, 2008

A Fond Farewell From My Landlord

I used to like my apartment complex when I lived there. The buildings were nice, and the landlord seemed relatively helpful. Batmite and I were able to create our own personal nerd haven of video games, TV, and tasty treats in this space. The landlord left us alone unless major shenanigans were afoot in the complex. She seemed nice enough. Granted, there was the time that their faulty toilet resulted in a $230 water bill, and my hot water heater always made an obnoxiously loud whistling noise whenever you flushed the toilet, but overall my experience was relatively positive.

Then today I got my security deposit back... or what was left of it. The initial security deposit for my apartment was $600. I got back $180. My former landlord is an asshole.

Along with the meager remnants of my security deposit, the landlord graciously sent a list of charges. The most expensive was the carpet cleaning: $240.00!! It's not like my apartment was the size of the Sistine Chapel and wallpapered with carpet. It was a modestly-sized domicile with carpet in the living room and two bedrooms. And the carpet wasn't filthy either. There was the usual wear and tear from everyday walking but nothing major. If I had known that she was going to let Stanley Steemer rape me so thoroughly, I would have rented my own damn carpet shampooer and done the job myself. It couldn't have cost me more than 50 bucks.

But the fun didn't stop there. Then I saw the charge from Superior Painting for what is simply called "Touch-up" - $100. I figured the paint might be a bit of an issue. I had some nail holes from pictures in the wall, and I hung some curtains in my bedroom at one time. I patched the holes, but the colors were slightly off. But for a hundred bucks, I could have given the entire apartment five coats of any paint they wanted. A can of touch-up paint is like five bucks, and there were maybe five tiny spots that needed it. In retrospect, I should have done it myself anyway.

The final insult was the cheapest charge, but it pissed me off the most - a cleaning fee of $80.00. I finished packing up my stuff around noon on the day I moved out, but Batmite was packing until like 7 p.m. While he packed, I cleaned that apartment as though incriminating evidence could be found on every surface (and given what I'd do alone in my bedroom sometimes, that may have been true). I scrubbed it from top to bottom. The OCD that I have with regards to keeping things clean was unleashed in an alarming manner. I bleached and scrubbed the bathtub, toilet, sink, and bathroom floor. I dusted the ceiling fans and baseboards. I washed the windows and sliding glass doors. I vacuumed the floors and even used the hose attachment to get against the walls. The refrigerator and microwave were both throughly cleaned and sterilized. All the counters and cabinets were washed inside and out. The tiled floors were mopped. I even cleaned the washer and dryer and wiped the inside of the goddamn lint trap for crying out loud. My dad gave me grief at the time for going WAY overboard. When I left that apartment on Saturday night, the place was SPOTLESS!!!

For the life of me, I just can't figure out what the cleaning woman did to earn $80. I fully suspect that she walked in, looked around, decided everything was done, and called my landlord to tell her that she cleaned it all herself. I thought the carpet cleaning and painting were WAY WAY overpriced, but I at least understood why it was done. The $80 cleaning fee is almost like a slap in the face to the six-plus hours of work I put into cleaning that shithole. If I had known that I'd get charged anyway, I would have left everything as it was and took a big dump in the middle of the living room.

I know why the landlord is willing to fuck me over. She knows full well that there's nothing I can do about these charges. I can call and complain, but what incentive does she have to pay me? I don't live there anymore. I also don't have any proof that there was nothing wrong since I didn't take pictures before I left. She could just claim that she and her crackerjack crew fixed everything. Furthermore, I can't take legal action because the costs would dwarf the funds that I lost. The amount she charged is just large enough to piss me off, but not large enough to warrant serious action. The best I can do is bitch about it on here.

However, to the people I know who still live there - beware the apparent benevolence of Ms. Carol Harbert of the Pinnacle Height Apartments. Make sure you take care of everything yourself before she metaphorically takes you into her financial toolshed and has her way with your pocketbook.

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Ms. Carol Harbert - Her name deliberately used twice now in the hopes that she'll one day Google her own name and encounter my virtual ire. I specialize in passive-aggressive vengeance.

5 comments:

Unknown said...

I was thinking to myself, "I hope he posts the landlord's name so that if someone Googles it, they'll see this post."

Thanks, once again, for not letting me down.

Seriously though, total bullshit. Jon went through the same shit when he moved out of his place in Erie. On move-out day, everyone - including Bunjee's family - helped out. Walls were patched and painted, the floors swept and steam vaced, the bathrooms scrubbed spotless, etc. A few weeks later, Jon got some of his security deposit back with the bill attached. Included in the bill were charges for such things as painting, cleaning, steam vacuuming. I WATCHED my dad steam vac that ENTIRE apartment, yet they still charged us. From both of these experiences, I have determined that I'm going to put a very minimal effort into cleaning my apartment upon move out, as I don't expect to get much of my deposit back at all.

The moral of the story? Blame those greedy jews.

Anonymous said...

When I moved out of my apartment in Erie, I got shafted out of half of my security deposit too, they do it, because they know to drive back down there and take them to small claims court, would cost more in aggravation and court costs, than you'd make out of profitability. The best thing you can do is take pictures with dates on them of you cleaning and scrubbing everything, and show it empty when you're moving out, then you make copies after you get shafted in your deposit and send copies of the picture to the landlord, the threat of taking them to court is usually enough for them to not want to hassle going so they'll probably just pay you the remaining balance.

Anonymous said...

When I moved out of my apartment in Erie, I got shafted out of half of my security deposit too, they do it, because they know to drive back down there and take them to small claims court, would cost more in aggravation and court costs, than you'd make out of profitability. The best thing you can do is take pictures with dates on them of you cleaning and scrubbing everything, and show it empty when you're moving out, then you make copies after you get shafted in your deposit and send copies of the picture to the landlord, the threat of taking them to court is usually enough for them to not want to hassle going so they'll probably just pay you the remaining balance.

Anonymous said...

You lose. I win.

contemplator said...

lol @ "carol".

Most of Morgantown's landlords are like that though, because they know they've got you by the short hairs. They're banking on the fact that you won't want to come in and sue. And the fact that you probably didn't take pictures before you left, or save your receipts....