If NASA promised these results, they might get more funding.I'm a big fan of all things science fiction. I love watching TV shows that involve people flying through space blasting away aliens or evil robots bent on galactic conquest. My dream job, were I to have the physical endurance for such things, would be as an astronaut. I'd love to go into space. Hell, if I ever get a bazillion dollars (through inexplicable means), I'll be the first to sign up as a space tourist.
The problem with real space travel is that it's nothing like television. There are no hot alien babes waiting for horny earth men to teach them how to make love. Nor are there alien robots that line up in convenient single-file formation for you to blast at your leisure with your scientifically-improbable laser gun.
Sometime in the late 80's, the general public finally figured this out. In the 60s, everyone was all gung-ho for space, but then when we got out there and found out it was mostly empty space, we got bored. NASA doesn't really help. All of their missions seem to lack a certain flair. The Cassini-Huygens mission to Titan had promise. Scientists claimed that their could be liquid oceans there, which in turn could support life. Then they get there and find nothing. ZZZZZ.
I figure NASA needs a better PR department. Nothing would get the public behind NASA faster than promises of lusty Orion Slave Girls waiting on the outer edges of the Rigellian Cluster. Even better: why not pull some of these cracker jack publicists from Washington to come work for them. Claim that there are weapons of mass destruction in the Proxima Centauri system, and we have to go there to take them out. Those fucking Centaurians are always up to no good. Can't trust those green-heads.
Hell, say that Marvin the Martian is about the blast the Earth with his Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator because it's obstructing his view of Venus. Clearly, we don't really need to see results. Once we get to either location and find nothing, just come on camera and say, "Well, we didn't find any Explosive Space Modulators, but dammit, the solar system is a better place now that we're occupying... I mean, helping.... Mars."
I'm still hoping for alien space babes though.
The problem with real space travel is that it's nothing like television. There are no hot alien babes waiting for horny earth men to teach them how to make love. Nor are there alien robots that line up in convenient single-file formation for you to blast at your leisure with your scientifically-improbable laser gun.
Sometime in the late 80's, the general public finally figured this out. In the 60s, everyone was all gung-ho for space, but then when we got out there and found out it was mostly empty space, we got bored. NASA doesn't really help. All of their missions seem to lack a certain flair. The Cassini-Huygens mission to Titan had promise. Scientists claimed that their could be liquid oceans there, which in turn could support life. Then they get there and find nothing. ZZZZZ.
I figure NASA needs a better PR department. Nothing would get the public behind NASA faster than promises of lusty Orion Slave Girls waiting on the outer edges of the Rigellian Cluster. Even better: why not pull some of these cracker jack publicists from Washington to come work for them. Claim that there are weapons of mass destruction in the Proxima Centauri system, and we have to go there to take them out. Those fucking Centaurians are always up to no good. Can't trust those green-heads.
Hell, say that Marvin the Martian is about the blast the Earth with his Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator because it's obstructing his view of Venus. Clearly, we don't really need to see results. Once we get to either location and find nothing, just come on camera and say, "Well, we didn't find any Explosive Space Modulators, but dammit, the solar system is a better place now that we're occupying... I mean, helping.... Mars."
I'm still hoping for alien space babes though.
3 comments:
Space herpes is easily avoided by using the COSMIC CONDOM!!
Everyone knows that.
Octopi tentacle herpes would make for some interesting television non the less.
Space isn't so bad, Now that Pluto is no longer a planet I now know a higher percentage of the planets... Instead of 3 out of 9 I'm now up to 3 out of 8. Knock out a few more and I'll have them all memorized.
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