This isn't the pinnacle of anythingThis is a completely meaningless issue that's been bothering me for some time. I can't stand the completely soulless naming scheme for some of these planned communities and apartment complexes around Morgantown. I've seen these pretentious, meaningless names elsewhere, but Morgantown seems to throw words together on a map in a way that would make Magellan weep.
For example, the apartment complex that I live in is called "Pinnacle Height Apartments" (pictured above). While my apartment is actually quite nice, the name doesn't really fit the entire complex. These apartments are not at the top of a hill, as the name would seem to indicate. The buildings were actually constructed on the side of a hill next to the WVU Animal Sciences Farm. I suppose "Sloping Pasture Apartments" didn't have the same ring to it.
Of course the big real estate construction on campus right now is this collection of on-campus apartments that have been given the name "Augusta on the Square." What kind of meaningless bullshit name is that? Am I supposed to think about doing geometry in Maine? And in case you're wondering, there's no part of Morgantown that's called "Augusta," and there's no square to speak of. You can't have a square on the mountainside that they shoved this complex into. Even better is the ridiculous logo (seen here) that they have for this place. Where was the chemistry department when these people decided that "Au" was the symbol for "Augusta" instead of gold?
Speaking of gold, I feel that the gold medal of misnomers must go to the new shopping plaza that's being built north of the city: "Suncrest Towne Centre." Every single word in this name is complete bullshit. I guess the old school spellings of "town" and "center" are supposed to make it seem sophisticated. The location for this soon-to-be commercial hub is in the middle of nowhere. There's no town (with an "e" or not), and there's no "centre." Also, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that Suncrest is an invented location in Morgantown as well. It's a completely meaningless term. What the hell is a suncrest? The top of the sun?
While I'm thinking of it, this whole process of adding an "e" onto every word to make it sound classy is getting a bit tired. Even Kittanning got in on the action when they named their new industrial park "Northpointe." Maybe Morgantown could freshen up its image if the city council changed the spelling to "Morgantowne." I'm dusting off my monocle already.
Invented towns always have these meaningless yuppie names with pretentious words. I guarantee that if you find yourself in a town with a words like "heights," "crest," or "pointe" in its name (usually preceded by the name of some tree: cedar, pine, chestnut, etc.), that town was probably constructed in the span of six months by a firm who has a list of words that appeal to white, upper-middle-class, suburban parents who are looking for a non-threatening, sterile, contained environment with just enough trees to provide shade for their kids' play dates.
For example, the apartment complex that I live in is called "Pinnacle Height Apartments" (pictured above). While my apartment is actually quite nice, the name doesn't really fit the entire complex. These apartments are not at the top of a hill, as the name would seem to indicate. The buildings were actually constructed on the side of a hill next to the WVU Animal Sciences Farm. I suppose "Sloping Pasture Apartments" didn't have the same ring to it.
Of course the big real estate construction on campus right now is this collection of on-campus apartments that have been given the name "Augusta on the Square." What kind of meaningless bullshit name is that? Am I supposed to think about doing geometry in Maine? And in case you're wondering, there's no part of Morgantown that's called "Augusta," and there's no square to speak of. You can't have a square on the mountainside that they shoved this complex into. Even better is the ridiculous logo (seen here) that they have for this place. Where was the chemistry department when these people decided that "Au" was the symbol for "Augusta" instead of gold?
Speaking of gold, I feel that the gold medal of misnomers must go to the new shopping plaza that's being built north of the city: "Suncrest Towne Centre." Every single word in this name is complete bullshit. I guess the old school spellings of "town" and "center" are supposed to make it seem sophisticated. The location for this soon-to-be commercial hub is in the middle of nowhere. There's no town (with an "e" or not), and there's no "centre." Also, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that Suncrest is an invented location in Morgantown as well. It's a completely meaningless term. What the hell is a suncrest? The top of the sun?
While I'm thinking of it, this whole process of adding an "e" onto every word to make it sound classy is getting a bit tired. Even Kittanning got in on the action when they named their new industrial park "Northpointe." Maybe Morgantown could freshen up its image if the city council changed the spelling to "Morgantowne." I'm dusting off my monocle already.
Invented towns always have these meaningless yuppie names with pretentious words. I guarantee that if you find yourself in a town with a words like "heights," "crest," or "pointe" in its name (usually preceded by the name of some tree: cedar, pine, chestnut, etc.), that town was probably constructed in the span of six months by a firm who has a list of words that appeal to white, upper-middle-class, suburban parents who are looking for a non-threatening, sterile, contained environment with just enough trees to provide shade for their kids' play dates.
Towns that have real character have names that sound somewhat unpleasant. Pittsburgh - sounds like something that requires a lot of deodorant. "Ford City" sounds like a place with too much car exhaust (though a simple name change to "Fjord City" could change that image). The name "Kittanning" even has character - granted we stole that character from the Indians, but it's better than something like Chestnut Heights Pointe.
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Pinnacle Height Apartments - Setting unreasonable expectations for the appearance of my domicile since 2006.
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