"What is that?""That's the sound of my career slowly dying."
There are movies that I love because I think that they're well made in a legitimate sense. Then there are movies that I feel are awesome despite all logical reasoning. The Hunt for Red October falls firmly in the latter category. I don't know how many times I've watched this movie on AMC or some other cable channel on a Saturday afternoon.
Brief recap: Set during the 1980's, the movie has two parallel stories. One details how Captain Marco Ramius (Sean Connery), captain of the Soviet nuclear submarine Red October, sets out to defect from the Soviet Union and reach the United States. In the other story, CIA analyst Jack Ryan (a younger and slimmer Alec Baldwin) tries to figure out Ramius's true intentions since the Russians have convinced the US that Ramius has gone mad and plans to fire his nukes on the United States.
The movie is completely ridiculous if you stop to think about it. All the conflict in the movie is a result of the Soviets trying to stop Ramius before he reaches the United States. But the only reason the Soviets even know what Ramius is up to is because HE SENT THEM A DAMN LETTER! He told them his cunning plan.
When he tells his crew this, one of them even says, "In God's name, WHY??"
Ramius's response: "When he reached the New World, Cortez burned his ships. As a result his men were well motivated." I can come up with allegories too. Most of them involve the HMS Bounty you magnificent bearded swashbuckler. You're lucky you didn't end up with a broken vodka bottle shivved into your sternum.
Some of the crew continue to call Ramius out for his dumbass move, and I give props to the movie for recognizing this obvious MacGuffin, but that doesn't excuse the fact that it's there in the first place.
What the hell is Sean Connery doing playing this guy anyway? He doesn't even try to have a Russian accent. He still has that thick bagpipe-playing, haggis-eating accent that he always does. Granted, he does exude 12 different varieties of awesome during this movie, but it still doesn't make any sense.
Speaking of casting, our good-ol' boy Fred Thompson has a bit part as the Admiral of the USS Enterprise in this movie. I really don't think Fred Thompson plays anyone other than Fred Thompson. He's the same country-fried folksy authoritarian in everything. He suspects that nuclear war is imminent, and he says to Jack Ryan, "Well maybe you can tell me what all the hubbub's about?" Hubbub? And of course his famous, "Russians don't take a dump, son, without a plan." Hey, taking a dump without a plan can lead to one cleaning far more of the bathroom than you may have time for.
Of course, America seems to be represented by the South throughout the entire movie. You've got Freddy Thompson of course, but the captain of the US ship is also from somewhere in the South. Hell, the ship is even called the USS Dallas. Fuck Texas.
I think one of the things that makes this movie so watchable for me is that it has amazing scenes of submarine maneuvers. I have no idea how accurate they are; the only thing I know about subs is that a cold cut trio is mighty tasty. But there is a surprising amount of tension that builds from submarine battles and maneuvers. There's one scene that milks about five minutes of tension out of the Red October making a right-hand turn.
If you get a chance, watch this movie. The characters are likable, the battle sequences are taut, and it's a lot of fun - ridiculous flaws and all.
"You arrogant ass! You've killed us." - Russian underling to the evil Russian captain just before their sub blows up.
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Sean Connery - Masterfully portraying Sean Connery on screen for 53 years.
Brief recap: Set during the 1980's, the movie has two parallel stories. One details how Captain Marco Ramius (Sean Connery), captain of the Soviet nuclear submarine Red October, sets out to defect from the Soviet Union and reach the United States. In the other story, CIA analyst Jack Ryan (a younger and slimmer Alec Baldwin) tries to figure out Ramius's true intentions since the Russians have convinced the US that Ramius has gone mad and plans to fire his nukes on the United States.
The movie is completely ridiculous if you stop to think about it. All the conflict in the movie is a result of the Soviets trying to stop Ramius before he reaches the United States. But the only reason the Soviets even know what Ramius is up to is because HE SENT THEM A DAMN LETTER! He told them his cunning plan.
When he tells his crew this, one of them even says, "In God's name, WHY??"
Ramius's response: "When he reached the New World, Cortez burned his ships. As a result his men were well motivated." I can come up with allegories too. Most of them involve the HMS Bounty you magnificent bearded swashbuckler. You're lucky you didn't end up with a broken vodka bottle shivved into your sternum.
Some of the crew continue to call Ramius out for his dumbass move, and I give props to the movie for recognizing this obvious MacGuffin, but that doesn't excuse the fact that it's there in the first place.
What the hell is Sean Connery doing playing this guy anyway? He doesn't even try to have a Russian accent. He still has that thick bagpipe-playing, haggis-eating accent that he always does. Granted, he does exude 12 different varieties of awesome during this movie, but it still doesn't make any sense.Speaking of casting, our good-ol' boy Fred Thompson has a bit part as the Admiral of the USS Enterprise in this movie. I really don't think Fred Thompson plays anyone other than Fred Thompson. He's the same country-fried folksy authoritarian in everything. He suspects that nuclear war is imminent, and he says to Jack Ryan, "Well maybe you can tell me what all the hubbub's about?" Hubbub? And of course his famous, "Russians don't take a dump, son, without a plan." Hey, taking a dump without a plan can lead to one cleaning far more of the bathroom than you may have time for.
Of course, America seems to be represented by the South throughout the entire movie. You've got Freddy Thompson of course, but the captain of the US ship is also from somewhere in the South. Hell, the ship is even called the USS Dallas. Fuck Texas.
I think one of the things that makes this movie so watchable for me is that it has amazing scenes of submarine maneuvers. I have no idea how accurate they are; the only thing I know about subs is that a cold cut trio is mighty tasty. But there is a surprising amount of tension that builds from submarine battles and maneuvers. There's one scene that milks about five minutes of tension out of the Red October making a right-hand turn.
If you get a chance, watch this movie. The characters are likable, the battle sequences are taut, and it's a lot of fun - ridiculous flaws and all.
"You arrogant ass! You've killed us." - Russian underling to the evil Russian captain just before their sub blows up.
--------------
Sean Connery - Masterfully portraying Sean Connery on screen for 53 years.
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