About a year ago, I got an IM from this guy who lives in my apartment complex. Apparently, he found my address on Facebook and wanted to make friends with someone in the complex. This seemed reasonable enough, and he's a nice enough guy, so I talked to him. But soon the conversations were making... interesting digressions. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but there was something odd about his interest in me. He seemed very intent upon being my friend.I have yet to meet this guy face to face, and he still messages me. I'm not a particularly nice person when dealing with strangers, so I couldn't figure out why he wanted to talk to me so much.
Today, I got my answer.
I'm talking to him again this evening and the conversation goes like this (his name has been changed):
ApartmentGuy: btw, whats ur relationship status?
Me: single. but always on the lookout for my future ex-girlfriend.
ApartmentGuy: what about a future boyfriend?
Me: nope. afraid not.
ApartmentGuy: fuck buddy?
Me: nope
Suddenly it all made sense. This guy was hitting on me. I've never been hit on by a gay guy before. I was actually kind of flattered. I didn't want the poor guy to feel bad, so I said:
Me: I don't swing that way. Not that there's anything wrong with it if you do.
ApartmentGuy: I love pussy...... but nothing wrong in gettin off
Me: Ah! So the door of [his name] swings both ways.
ApartmentGuy: it has.......... discretely......... depends on the situation
Given the guy's penchant for joking around (looking back on it, it was probably flirting), I thought he might have been pulling my leg again, so I decided to Google his screen name. What came up was a personal ad for "OurGayborhood.com," which is, quite frankly, the BEST name for a website ever! He describes himself as "heteroflexible."
The guy has never met me in real life, so I can only assume that he decided I was bi-curious based on my Facebook profile. Is it the distinct absence of anything sports-related on my Interests list? Is it the degree in English? Is it my flowery but lovable prose style? I don't think I wrote "I've always loved the taste of hot man-juice" anywhere on there.
I got nothing against the guy (literally or figuratively). It's got to be a ballsy move (pun totally intended) to hit on a guy who may or may not be gay - especially in West Virginia.
I know you may read this Apartment Guy, and you may not like that I shared the tale (anonymous though it may be), but it was just too choice to pass up.
------------------------
JP: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
6 comments:
I really don't know what to say.
Wow.
That is some funny shit.
Just....wow.
ROFLLMFAOBBQ!
ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
*wipes tears from eyes*
heeheeheeheelololololololololol
So not only did you need beer pouring social skills, but you also need remediation on when someone is hitting on you?
There hasn't been anything this funny since you told me you thought the Alice in Chains song "Here Comes the Rooster" was about a real barnyard animal.
Here they come to snuff the rooster, oh yeah
Yeah, here comes the rooster, yeah
You know he ain't gonna die
No no no
There are some more details to the story that I've left out that sort of explain that. I didn't want to offend a certain apartment dweller should he happen upon my blog.
Still, you make a good point. I had joked before that I thought the guy's interest in me was more than friendly, but I never really believed it. Guess I'm a fucking idiot.
As for the Rooster thing; I've talked to a few people who also thought it was about a real rooster.
Of course, all of those people were from Kittanning, so that probably doesn't help my case.
So what happens when you run into him at Leo's? *awkward!*
Post a Comment