I can't wait for the semester to be over. I'm within five weeks of finally being able to bid bon-voyage to grad school. I've studied English for so long that I'm beginning to understand why Hitler wanted to burn all books. Hell, Hitler was an Arts and Humanities major, so he knows how it goes.
I can't wait to be able to work the 9 to 5 grind. My friends who have legitimate jobs all bitch about it, but when they leave work at 5:00 every day, they get to leave work at work. There's no homework anymore. Anything that they work on is being done as a contribution to a company's services or product development. Any work done for "personal enrichment" is limited to browsing for banana-shaped penis pumps on "gorilladong.com." (An actual website I might add... but sadly it doesn't sell ape-themed penis enlargers.)
I can't wait to read books for fun again. I haven't read a book for my own pleasure in almost four years. Star Trek message boards, Wikipedia, and online erotica don't count. I want to be able to read a book without automatically parsing the historico-political hyper-genres of metatextual postmodernism.
I want to buy things. Part of me is still a product of this consumerist culture ("consumerist culture" is another fun term that I've picked up in the English program that I'd be happy to disregard), and as such, I have my eye on a few fun items. I'd really like a new car. Much as I love folding myself in three places to get into my little Escort, a larger vehicle would provide a little bit of comfort. I'd also like a plasma TV. I don't need it. I want it. I watch a lot of TV, and it would make me happy. Things provide happiness. I'd also like a new bed. There's nothing wrong with my extra-long twin bed, but I take up about 90% of the space on said bed. There are some activities that I'd like to use my bed for that are not really practical with these figures.
Finally, I want to quit searching for jobs. Once I get a job, ipso facto, I can give up this tedious job search. I have a preliminary phone interview with one company on Monday, and even though it's only on the phone, I keep worrying about it. Having to juggle three job applications, looking for other jobs, and convincing every company that THEIRS is the one I want is driving me crazy. Just give me the moneys!!
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9 out of 10 readers were highly disappointed by "gorilladong.com." The last reader is still using tissues at an alarming rate.
I can't wait to be able to work the 9 to 5 grind. My friends who have legitimate jobs all bitch about it, but when they leave work at 5:00 every day, they get to leave work at work. There's no homework anymore. Anything that they work on is being done as a contribution to a company's services or product development. Any work done for "personal enrichment" is limited to browsing for banana-shaped penis pumps on "gorilladong.com." (An actual website I might add... but sadly it doesn't sell ape-themed penis enlargers.)
I can't wait to read books for fun again. I haven't read a book for my own pleasure in almost four years. Star Trek message boards, Wikipedia, and online erotica don't count. I want to be able to read a book without automatically parsing the historico-political hyper-genres of metatextual postmodernism.
I want to buy things. Part of me is still a product of this consumerist culture ("consumerist culture" is another fun term that I've picked up in the English program that I'd be happy to disregard), and as such, I have my eye on a few fun items. I'd really like a new car. Much as I love folding myself in three places to get into my little Escort, a larger vehicle would provide a little bit of comfort. I'd also like a plasma TV. I don't need it. I want it. I watch a lot of TV, and it would make me happy. Things provide happiness. I'd also like a new bed. There's nothing wrong with my extra-long twin bed, but I take up about 90% of the space on said bed. There are some activities that I'd like to use my bed for that are not really practical with these figures.
Finally, I want to quit searching for jobs. Once I get a job, ipso facto, I can give up this tedious job search. I have a preliminary phone interview with one company on Monday, and even though it's only on the phone, I keep worrying about it. Having to juggle three job applications, looking for other jobs, and convincing every company that THEIRS is the one I want is driving me crazy. Just give me the moneys!!
----------------------------
9 out of 10 readers were highly disappointed by "gorilladong.com." The last reader is still using tissues at an alarming rate.
4 comments:
We'll make it. Hang in there. Remember--wrastlin' tomorrow. ;)
You might want to re-prioritize: bed first, then car, then plasma tv. Otherwise, how are the future self honeys going to give you VD? You need room to bump uglies, then you can drive them home in your sweet ride, and then you come home, turn on your plasma tv and find yourself sadly and unexpectedly identifying with the guy on the valtrex commercial.
You know what is not cool to look at on a plasma screen? Cameron Diaz. yoi.
You're a product of consumerist culture. Heh heh.
I'm addicted to the countdown clock. I thought you should know.
Don't feel bad. I check it every day too.
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