Come Fly With Me

Over Christmas break, I was considering what I might do once I was finished with grad school. One thing that I really wanted to do was to take a short vacation somewhere. I figured that I'd have some money saved up, and I could head off to California, Europe, or some other interesting venue. In the last decade or so, my travel has been limited to places within driving distance. New York City, Boston, Washington D.C., Niagara Falls, and Florida (my farthest trip) are some of the more interesting places that I've been. But the limiting factor is that I've driven to all of those locales. I've never been on an airplane.

Well, that's not entirely accurate. When I was about 13 years old, I went to a county airport with the Boy Scouts, and some pilots took us up in their personal airplanes for a few minutes. (Side Note: Yes, JP is a certified Eagle Scout... you can all quit snickering now.) Now I have a rather severe fear of heights, so I was a bit hesitant to get into this dinky little flying craft that was being piloted by a man who looked like Wilford Brimley's jolly uncle. But once we were up in the sky, I really enjoyed the experience! When you get that high up, the height is so extraordinary that it doesn't really register. I'd have the same reaction several years later at the top of the Empire State Building. Unfortunately, authorities frown on people spitting from either locale.

All was going well until about ten minutes into the flight when the other kid in the back seat pipes up: "Excuse me, I've been holding the door shut since we took off." He proceeds to loosen his arm a bit to show that the door isn't shut. Leave it to a Mormon Boy Scout to politely keep quiet while he's holding a plane door closed with his bare hands! (Side Note: Did I forget to mention that my Boy Scout troop was organized through my old church? Imagine that.) Needless to say (which is why I'll say it), I was scared shitless. The pilot seemed rather calmly befuddled. He calls the tower on his radio to ask for their advice on the situation, and the tower asks, "Can the kid hold on until you guys land?" I'm not surprised by their response; after all, what were they going to do? I think I was just amazed at everyone's cavalier attitude to what I saw as something of a life-threatening scenario.

While that whole situation has made me a bit wary of airplanes, I still want to go somewhere that warrants getting into a passenger jet. I'm really not all that particular about the destination as long as it's different from Western Pennsylvania. Give me a desert, plains, icecap, tundra, or even a fjord... I just want to see something different.

A few things stand in my way. First of all, my funds are not as vast as I might have hoped four months ago. I have enough to get through the summer as I search for gainful employment, but rustling up the greenbacks that I'd need for any distant vacation would be difficult. Second, I kinda dawdled around in the trip-planning area. It's certainly too late to plan a trip out of the country since I don't have a passport, but even planning a plane trip within the US this close to my intended departure time would be pricey. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I don't really have anyone to go with me. My friends in Morgantown all have new families or jobs, or they're taking summer classes. Batmite is traveling the country with his parents for a few weeks. And all my friends from Kittanning have legitimate jobs. They have the money, but they don't have the time. Traveling alone does not appeal to me. I'd probably end up spending most of my time in my hotel room trying to figure out what time they show Battlestar Galactica in the Pacific Time Zone or wandering the streets asking the locals where I can find a good time. Such plans can lead to infinite sadness in the former instance, or jail time and prescriptions for medicated ointment in the latter.

I think my travel will be limited to various trips to Morgantown, and a weekend in Baltimore to see a friend who lives there. Fucking time! Fucking money! Fucking friends with jobs!

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The World: Eluding JP since 1983.