Monday, October 27, 2008

JP For President

Batmite says he'll raise your taxes in order to pay for his extravagant drinking habit and leather fetish. And Batmite even told the Associated Press that he wants to kill all redheads.

Under Virgil's economic plan, gang members would receive government benefits, and she would spread the wealth to anyone who wears a bandanna.

Worst of all, Virgil pals around with known suspicious bearded brown man Batmite. Batmite has gone on record as stating, "The Green Lantern Corps is fucking awesome!" Do we really want people in the White House who support a galactic police force that wants to take away your freedom?

Virgil and Batmite: Wrong on taxes. Wrong on the economy. Wrong on gang violence. And wrong on galactic security.

But JP is a man of the people who listens to the problems of real Americans.

JP is tough on environmental issues, and he voted repeatedly for Senator Fred Rogers's stricter sanitation laws in the Land of Make Believe.

And JP has the necessary leadership experience necessary to fight against an economic Wii-cession.

Vote for the blogger who has your best interests at heart.
Vote for real change!

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I'm JP, and I approved this message.


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6 comments:

contemplator said...

I'm crying, I'm laughing so hard. What is your campaign planning on doing when I release the pictures of you all hugged up with me? October Surprise, baby! :D

JP said...

I don't listen to threats from SOCIALISTS!!!!

:)

contemplator said...

One fifth of America is functionally illiterate. I have their vote because I have a damning picture. :)

JP said...

Ah! But a larger percentage are unrepentant racists, and I have a damning picture of you drinking with a BROWN FOREIGNER!!!! :)

contemplator said...

Given the historically high portion of black and brown voters this election year, I'd say you just screwed yourself. XD

contemplator said...

Besides, who knows better how to appeal to Joe Six Pack than JANE Six Pack?

Suck it, JP Campaign!