Gorn Porn Not Included

That's right, normies! It's a GORN BOBBLEHEAD!! It's only the most rocking gift ever, and that's not just because the Gorn's primary attack is throwing large boulders. Proving that she understands the geektastic existence that I lead, my mom bought me this bobblehead. I don't care if the website for these bobbleheads claims that they're recommended for ages 5 to 8. It fits right in with my Hot Pink Jesus and Green Lantern plushy. My mother gave me the choice between this and a talking Mr. Spock bobblehead that says three lines: "Live long and prosper," "Fascinating," and "You are, after all, essentially irrational." (The last one is a bit of an odd choice, I thought) I was tempted, but I just couldn't pass up the Gorn.

The Gorn has gained something of a cult status as being the worst foe ever faced by Captain Kirk. In fact, if you Google the words "Worst fight scene ever," this will be the first result:

The timing of the gift was exceptional. In less than 19 hours, I will be sitting in an IMAX theater enjoying the brand new Star Trek movie. I purchased my tickets last week for the earliest possible showing, which turned out to be a day before the full release. I know the kinds of people who will go to this kind of showing, and those are the moviegoers that I want to be surrounded by. I want to share the auditorium with Mr. Spock's bespectacled Asian doppleganger and the tubby balding guy who's loudly bitching that he doesn't need the subtitles to understand the Klingon dialogue. The general public will likely wait until the actual Friday release date content to fill their Thursday night with sports that aren't Romulan in origin and fantasies about women who aren't painted green. You well-adjusted folks are not welcome at my screening!

When I decide to shout at the screen because the screen on the Enterprise's bridge isn't displaying the warp factor properly, I want a room full of people who will join me in their outrage. I don't need people shushing me or pulling their offspring away from any adjacent seats. This will be my chance to get my geek on without worrying about what anyone else thinks.

And if some recreation of this scene occurs...
Then I'm immediately going outside and leaping in front of a bus because life can't possibly get better after that.

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"After a time, you may find that "having" is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as "wanting." It is not logical, but it is often true." - Spock wisdom that will hopefully not be true of this new movie.