The Agony of Defeat

Long time followers (and anyone within earshot when the subject of the police is brought up) will know that I've got a penchant for getting speeding tickets. Well, my third ticket was bullshit. I was nailed going 40mph in a 25mph zone. The catch was that the road did not have a speed limit sign on it.

I decided to plead not guilty.

I lost before I even got to my hearing.

I left early this morning because the powers that be saw fit to schedule the hearing for today, seven days after I left Morgantown; therefore, I had to drive the whole way back for this shit.

Well I get to the county courtroom, and I do get a bit of perk. I get to see the lowlifes and degenerates of Morgantown. And here I thought the regular hill folk were strange enough.

Anyway, a man who identified himself only as "The Prosecutor" calls my name and takes me into a separate room. "The Prosecutor" looks like Tony Soprano and talks like him too. I'm unsettled. He tells me that I cannot win my case because there is a law that states that the speed limit on any road in town is automatically 25mph unless otherwise posted.

Now for you longtime readers, this may sound familiar. Here is an excerpt from my October 2006 blog post titled "I Fought the Law and the Law Won":

"Apparently, municipalities will have an 'unwritten speed limit' rule written into the law. The speed limit is automatically whatever the city council deems safe in the absence of marked signs. This is some shady shit right there."

When I first stumbled across this little tidbit a few months ago, I didn't believe it. I thought it was just some goofy rumor. I mean, how could such a thing be legal? The government can just make up laws and then not tell the citizens what they are and then expect them to follow them?

Sure what the hell!

I guess the old saying "Ignorance of the law is no excuse" is taken quite literally in traffic court.

Well "The Prosecutor" feels bad for me, so he reduces the fine to $1.00. I was really happy.... until he told me that the court costs were $165.50.

That made me feel like the biggest chump on the planet. My original ticket was $170. Now I have to pay $166.50 plus the money I already spent in gas to make that 4 hour round trip.

I don't care what anyone tells you: no good comes from fighting a speeding ticket. Just accept that the cops are going to rape you. Bend over, spread your legs, and take it like a man.

Bottom line: I got owned.