Who Will Jesus Damn?

I love religious kooks. They make for quality entertainment. WVU recently got a healthy dose of them when the groups "Life and Liberty Ministries" and "Repent America" showed up to have a pro-life rally.

I have no objections to people being pro-life, but there are more productive arguments than "THEY'LL ALL BURN IN HELL! EVERY ONE OF THEM!" That charming line was uttered by a 9-year-old boy named Malachi (according to The Daily Athenaeum website). Are these parents dropping acid in order to see God? These kids eventually grow up to take English 101. Doesn't anyone think of me when they raise their kids?

Anyway, several campus groups were on top of these guys. Our pro-life friends had huge pictures of dead baby fetuses set up in front of the Mountainlair, and some people found dead babies objectionable. The WVU Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance chapter held bedsheets in front of the signs. Even Virgil (of "Dante's Virgil" fame, linked on the right of the page) got into the act. I'm annoyed that I didn't know it was such a big deal until it was too late. Nothing spices up a boring day like a good religious brouhaha.

I did get to experience some of the fun second-hand. A friend of mine brought one of the cards that these guys were handing out back to the office. It's called "W.W.J.D." which stands for "Who Will Jesus Damn?" (sounds like the name of a reality TV show). I was fortunate enough to be able to find a copy of it on the internet.

(click for larger image)

(click for larger image)

You can't make this shit up. My personal favorites from the damning list include the effeminate, drunkards, the abominable, whore-mongers, and sorcerers. So a gay, drunk snowman with a penchant for strip clubs and black magic is totally screwed.

Choice quotes from the back:
"Maybe, just maybe, the Savior from the Bible isn't all about warm fuzzies."
"See, Jesus isn't just a teddy bear kind of guy to be ignored or simply mentioned as a curse word."
"Things aren't looking too good for you friend."

They apparently aren't reading the same Bible as me. Jesus was a passive kind of guy. It's God who loved to smite, kill, and torment people for his own perverse pleasure. That's why the Old Testament is so much more fun to read. God is like the army general dad who ended up raising a pot-smoking hippie son.

I'm glad that WVU rallied together to protest this pro-life protest, but they shouldn't discourage these guys from showing up at all. I'm a huge fan of their literature (even if not in the way that they intended).

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Religious Fanatics - providing quality entertainment for heathens like me since we stopped becoming targets for human sacrifice.