Monday, November 20, 2006

Giving Thanks

Things I'm thankful for:

>> the record amount of porn on my computer!

>> I don't have smallpox.

>> Not having to spend Christmas in West Virginia (or as they call it "Time 'a year when maw makes the rhubarb grits and paw makes the moonshine eggnog")

>> Not having five speeding tickets yet.

>> New Aqua Teen Hunger Force!!

>> Not having back hair.

>> Students who are good enough at cheating that I don't catch them (the paperwork's a bitch).

>> Mocha freezes - the best drink since I found the Parrot Bay Passion Fruit Rum one weekend last year.

>> Four-Cheese-flavored Cheez It Crisps.

>> Wet naps after a good meal of buffalo chicken wings.

>> Being tall enough to look at most cleavage without getting caught.

>> Diet Pepsi

>> Banana-flavored runts

>> The power to cancel classes whenever I damn well please

>> Women with low standards and questionable morals

>> My medical insurance - When I lose 8 of my fingers in an accident, I can rest assured that the WVU health system will reattach 5 of them.

>> Friends who make me look better by comparison

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Being tall enough to look at most cleavage without getting caught.

Hah! I'll have to pay more attention to what you're doing the next time I'm around you!

contemplator

contemplator said...

Here's the link. dantesvirgil.blogspot.com

You spoiled my rooster joke. :p

contemplator said...

Oh, and two more things. You need a free statcounter (go to www.statcounter.com) so you can see who's hitting your blog and you need to enable the spam filter. :D

Anonymous said...

If you feel that negative about the State and people of West Virginia, you should do both a favor and move on. No doubt your negative attitude is impacting your sub-standard performance and overall duties to your students. Your juvenile comments indicate you're probably only a graduate assistant anyway - no loss.