And So It Begins... Again

JP mentally prepares himself for the coming semester.
Hot Pink Jesus provides solace from behind.

It's now almost 1am on Monday morning. When I wake up in about seven hours, my spring semester will begin. No more sleeping in until noon (except on weekends), and heavy drinking will be reserved for those nights when it's the only thing that can keep the demons asleep (and maybe the weekends again).

I have enjoyed this break way too much. I could have been locked in a basement the entire time being fed week-old herring in a bucket of snot every day, and it still would have been a nice respite. Do you know what I read over break? I read a few bathroom trivia books, a few Reader's Digest articles, the instructions for my iPod speakers, some Star Trek message boards, and several blogs (including my own - I'm my own biggest fan). You know what I didn't read? Anything important. Damn was it nice to not have to read anything that could even remotely be categorized at literature.

Of course, the downside of my good time was a decline in blog quality. I'm convinced that my humor comes from a finely-tuned cynicism stemming from apathetic students, asshole professors, a piss-poor paycheck, no job prospects, treacherous roadways, horrible weather, and books about the heteronormative hegemony. Without all of that, here's what you readers have had to endure for a month:
> The tale of my hetero-flexible apartment buddy (admittedly an awesome story)
> Mediocre summaries of a Star Trek movie and D-list Christmas movie that probably amused only me and three other people.
> Yet another tale of my car fucking me over
> Me raving about how much I loved my New Years trip (fun for me - not sure how fun it was to read about)
> Another in a long line of religious ramblings that are sending me to hell at a rapid rate
> And two posts of YouTube clips.

Christ, with a track record like that, you'd think *I* was on a writer's strike. I look back and my older stuff and bask in my own genius. I look at my recent stuff and think, "Who really gives a fuck?" Well, there was one good thing. I got a phenomenal comment on the last post:

interesting that some cuntry bumpkin W Va ass hole would say fuck Texas...well fuck you buddy you gay motherfucker...stay up in Hooterville and whack off playing with your blog since there are no females with teeth in your crotch of the woods...i say again...fuck you

I think the guy is referring to a post I made back in September about The Hunt for Red October. It's the only place I can think of where I said "Fuck Texas." As I said to this guy in my reply, I may have had no ill feelings for Texas before (my comments were only in jest), but since this anonymous asshole apparently lives there, Texas can ram itself in the ass as far as I'm concerned. Besides, you longtime readers know how much I LOOOOOVE living in West Virginia.

So I'll try to pick up the pace here a little bit. I may not post more often, but I'll try to make my posts a bit better than a string of catty comments about some screen-caps from a third-rate Star Trek movie. Some of you may not know this, but I have a pretty big readership. Word has spread, and so I have a growing public to entertain. So we'll see what the spring semester holds. I start teaching again tomorrow. Newbie students are always good for a few laughs.

Until then... Fuck Texas!!

--------------------
4 out of 5 readers aren't even readers anymore, thus driving several statisticians to drink.