Tuesday, June 02, 2009

The After Picture

JP: Making maroon even less manly

Virgil/Contemplator requested a current picture as proof that I actually lost weight, and I can't blame her since making a dubious claim to attract attention and undeserved praise is actually a pretty good idea that I wish I'd thought of earlier. So to appease the skeptical, I took a picture of myself today. I'm not sure why I'm holding my hands out like I'm baffled by the art of photography or welcoming a gaggle of devout worshippers to my cult, but there you have it. That's JP at 253 lbs.

I call it an "after" picture, but it's more like an "in progress" picture. I wisely and tastefully chose to photograph myself with my shirt on, so you can't see the doughy gut and man-boobs that still remain. Maroon may be slimming as well. Also, my blindingly pasty skin may have interfered with the photo, so I think this was the right decision.

And note that I'm wearing a legitimate shirt and not one of my now-discarded button-downed checkered monstrosoties that would so conveniently hide those unsightly jiggly bits. I want fashion points for that!

------------------------------------
And so JP finds himself slimmer than he ever was before, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap would be the leap home.

15 comments:

Unknown said...

good job! I'm about 240 now, so I better kick a diet in gear or you're likely to pass me up, my ideal weight would probably be around 210, so i got a ways to go.

contemplator said...

Cute!

What about all your Hawaiian shirts? Still fit?

You're not going to want that one calorie beer when you come down to visit, are you?

JP said...

Joe: Thanks. My super-ideal weight would be 210 too, but that's a pipe dream since I'm a taller sumbitch than you. I think you can make 210... or else I'll pass you up and everyone will mock you mercilessly. :)

Contemplator: My favorite blue Hawaiian shirt with the topless hula dancers on it is WAY too big now (and it's a raddy piece of shit too), so it'll be kept in my closet for posterity. I do have a red one that was too small before that fits very well now. I can still sip pina colatas on the beach!

No lite beer required for my visit. I've been seriously cutting back on any casual drinking (drinking just because it's there), but if I want to drink (or eat tasty treats for that matter) with friends or at a party, I'll do so and make up for it later.

ChubbyChickCrafts said...

I feel that your weight loss is just a lame attempt to keep me from wanting to have sex with you. You know I loves me some chubby boys.

Haha, seriously though, you look good, and I'm more than happy to hear those horrible shirts are gone.

Anonymous said...

Congrats! You look great! Getting away from my brownies probably helped--I could be accused of using you and Batmite as a garbage disposal when I baked too many fattening tasty treats.
SB

JP said...

Sarah: The shirts left much to be desired. But I bequeathed them to my siblings, so they still have some life left to them.

I have no witty retort to the other half of your comment. :)

SB: You can lead a JP to brownies, but you can't force him to eat. I didn't *have* to eat that whole tub of fudge in one day, but that didn't stop me from doing so. My fat ass was gloriously self-sculpted.

contemplator said...

LOL. There's an angry snowflake over at "my place." Come and see...

JP said...

Why don't *I* get these choice loonies from news stories? All I got was an irate veggie-bus driver's girlfriend. It's not fair!!

contemplator said...

Well, it's the first time it's happened, really.

Besides, he's a finance major. What else does he have to do in this economy?

contemplator said...

I am having so much fun with the poor kid.

He just stepped in a huge pile of shit, actually.

BWP wouldn't happen to be a relative, would he? A charming younger brother (who voted for ME, might I remind you) perhaps? He's making some perfect snide on the blog.

JP said...

Oh yes. He be a younger sibling and a long-standing fan of both our blogs.

I've been THOROUGHLY enjoying the antics of the angry snowflake as you can probably tell. You're going to have that little sumbitch crying himself to sleep at night. I knew he'd earn your disdain and wrath when he made his recent "threat."

By the by, what's the best way to get a hold of you to discuss my tentative Mo-town shuffle? I've not had the greatest luck using the old telephone.

contemplator said...

I've not been avoiding you, I swear. It's just been complicated these past few weeks. I took Dante to the airport today and the in-laws are coming in this weekend. Plus ... I have lots of great stories, and I'm afraid I'll spill them all on the phone and we'll have nothing to talk about!!! You really need to be sitting with a bottle of beer to hear them, too. :D

Call me next week, beginning of -- people will be gone then.


You should check your stat counter for State College. I bet Apollo is stalking your blog, too. El Hijo is considering putting up a "Apolitano Tsirogiannis Threatens People" website. :D

JP said...

No worries. I will be down there with beer in hand soon enough. :)

I'm planning for next weekend (June 19, 20, 21). I'm hoping that will be good for you guys, but if not, I can work something else out. The closer it gets to the fourth of July, though, the more band performances I'm in. My participation in the Firemen's Band is a nice little tidbit I'll have to blog about shortly.

El Hijo has my support for that website. That guy has some name. No wonder he has troubles. There can't be a single other Apolitano Tsirogiannis on the entire planet! Screwing with that guy has been loads of fun.

Although I'm the only person on the planet with my exact name, so I guess I should be careful too :)

KP (you know who now, right?) said...

Hey JP -- I recall reading of your love of a good suit. Can we expect to see some new threads at the August nuptials? ..and Good Job on the hard work, you look great.

JP said...

I expect to be wearing a suit for the August nuptials... though I do have to get my suit taken in, so I should be looking pretty dapper by then.

Thanks for the compliments! Always appreciated.