"I'm trying to decide what to arrest you for - obstruction of justice, harboring a fugitive, or just being a general pain in the ass." -- Lennie BriscoeLaw & Order will be entering its 18th season next year. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit will be entering its 9th season, and Law & Order: Criminal Intent will be going on its seventh. Why has Law & Order endured for so long?
Because it kicks major ass.
The original is still my favorite, but SVU is catching up fast. The original follows a crime from the moment a body is found through the police investigation and all the way to the trial and verdict. The show doesn't go into the personal lives of the characters (we rarely see them at home), but the audience learns a lot about them through how they work the cases.
Two characters keep me coming back to the original. The first is Assistant District Attorney Jack McCoy (played by Sam Waterson - the robot insurance guy from a few posts ago). If you're ever accused of a crime in New York City, you better pray to God, Allah, and Budda that you don't get McCoy as your prosecutor. The man is a cutthroat and judgmental ass, but that's why he's the man! Everyone thinks he's kind of a doofus because he dresses like a 1950s bum and has the haircut of an azalea bush, but then he comes into the courtroom and owns your ass.
Best Jack McCoy lines:
Defense Lawyer: You turning soft on me, Jack?
McCoy: You know I'm a sucker for an execution. I'm just here for the tortellini.
McCoy: Justice is a by-product of winning.
McCoy: Your grief might seem a little more real had you not just admitted you cut off your wife's head.
McCoy: Never get Freudian on a man holding a pickle.
McCoy: The last time I checked, 'stupid' isn't a defense for murder.
Assistant: So he gets a walk for killing a cop, but we're arresting him for killing the man who helped him kill that cop?
McCoy: An irony he can appreciate for the next 30 years in Attica.
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Then there's probably my favorite guy: Detective Lennie Briscoe (played by the late Jerry Orbach - pictured above in a classic badass pose). His cynical, sarcastic, deadpan style almost makes me drop to my knees in awe. The show hasn't quite been the same since the actor died. This guy OWNED, with a capital everything. He's been partnered with a range of much younger, more athletic partners, and yet this old white Jewish guy is always the more feared. The show always shows respect for both the detectives and lawyers in the show, but Lennie almost makes you wish that he could just be judge, jury, and executioner for the world, doling out justice like Judge Dredd on crystal meth.
Best Lennie Briscoe lines (aside from the one at the top):
Lennie: Even though you're a taxpayer, you know, we don't actually work for you personally.
Lennie: I told you, you should have gone to bed with her. You're getting the grief without getting the gravy.
Lt VanBuren: Do you believe him?
Lennie: I believe on a good day he couldn't hit his ass with both hands.
Lennie: Love - a dangerous disease instantly cured by marriage.
Lennie: I specifically asked for him to be put on suicide watch. Apparently here at Riker's that means that they watch you commit suicide.
Because it kicks major ass.
The original is still my favorite, but SVU is catching up fast. The original follows a crime from the moment a body is found through the police investigation and all the way to the trial and verdict. The show doesn't go into the personal lives of the characters (we rarely see them at home), but the audience learns a lot about them through how they work the cases.
Two characters keep me coming back to the original. The first is Assistant District Attorney Jack McCoy (played by Sam Waterson - the robot insurance guy from a few posts ago). If you're ever accused of a crime in New York City, you better pray to God, Allah, and Budda that you don't get McCoy as your prosecutor. The man is a cutthroat and judgmental ass, but that's why he's the man! Everyone thinks he's kind of a doofus because he dresses like a 1950s bum and has the haircut of an azalea bush, but then he comes into the courtroom and owns your ass.
Best Jack McCoy lines:
Defense Lawyer: You turning soft on me, Jack?
McCoy: You know I'm a sucker for an execution. I'm just here for the tortellini.
McCoy: Justice is a by-product of winning.
McCoy: Your grief might seem a little more real had you not just admitted you cut off your wife's head.
McCoy: Never get Freudian on a man holding a pickle.
McCoy: The last time I checked, 'stupid' isn't a defense for murder.
Assistant: So he gets a walk for killing a cop, but we're arresting him for killing the man who helped him kill that cop?
McCoy: An irony he can appreciate for the next 30 years in Attica.
--------------------
Then there's probably my favorite guy: Detective Lennie Briscoe (played by the late Jerry Orbach - pictured above in a classic badass pose). His cynical, sarcastic, deadpan style almost makes me drop to my knees in awe. The show hasn't quite been the same since the actor died. This guy OWNED, with a capital everything. He's been partnered with a range of much younger, more athletic partners, and yet this old white Jewish guy is always the more feared. The show always shows respect for both the detectives and lawyers in the show, but Lennie almost makes you wish that he could just be judge, jury, and executioner for the world, doling out justice like Judge Dredd on crystal meth.
Best Lennie Briscoe lines (aside from the one at the top):
Lennie: Even though you're a taxpayer, you know, we don't actually work for you personally.
Lennie: I told you, you should have gone to bed with her. You're getting the grief without getting the gravy.
Lt VanBuren: Do you believe him?
Lennie: I believe on a good day he couldn't hit his ass with both hands.
Lennie: Love - a dangerous disease instantly cured by marriage.
Lennie: I specifically asked for him to be put on suicide watch. Apparently here at Riker's that means that they watch you commit suicide.
McCoy: Are you talking to me now?
Lennie: Hey, do things our way and we'll talk to you all you want.
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I don't know how much longer the show will last, but dammit, the show's been on for 18 years. I've got plenty of reruns to keep me occupied (re: distracted from my own work).
Law & Order: Making justice look badass and entertaining since 1990.
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