The image is only sorta applicable, but I couldn't pass up this image of what was labeled the "toilet snorkel"Well, any stories regarding my first day of classes will have to wait until Wednesday. Instead of teaching, my morning was filled with the joy of food poisoning. I had lovely fluids coming out of both sides of my body. I just had food poisoning at the beginning of December. Am I the most unsanitary guy on the planet? I mean, if rolling my hands in dog poop before eating my deep fried burrito is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
I have no idea what caused it. My initial thought was that it had to be my Carvel's ice cream, since that was the last thing that I had last night. Being owned by Fudgie the Whale and Cookiepuss would have made for a bit of comedy. But the other people I was there with aren't sick, and two of them had the same thing I did.
I can't rule out the Sheetz Shmuffin that I had on Saturday night. Food poisoning can be caused by things from quite some time ago. A gas station breakfast sandwich certainly seems a possible culprit.
I think I narrowed it down to some bad swiss cheese. Said cheese has already been disposed of. I can't prove that that's what it was, but I can't eat that cheese in good conscience anymore.
So with my head in the toilet this morning, I thought it wise to cancel my classes. I'm sure my students were thrilled... or they didn't give a shit. Most of them are apathetic ingrates. We'll find out on Wednesday.
Hope you're all thoroughly disgusted now.
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Carvel's Ice Cream: Taking the fall for my food poisoning since I discovered that Cookiepuss was from a planet called "Birthday."
10 comments:
Or, it could be karma informing you that we still haven't settled on our "drinks and questions" meeting.
P.S. Fuck Texas. With sharp, pointy teeth.
Indeed we have not. This will have to come about soon. Embarrassment and intoxication will be had by all.
I think you should apply for this job:
http://yourerie.com/content/marketpl
ace/jobs/items?cat_id=35&item_id=35
Are you any better now?
I'm still not at a hundred percent. Many of the symptoms are still there. I made it to class this afternoon, and I'm hoping to be able to teach tomorrow.
I think I'll have a party celebrating the departure of this fucking virus from hell.
Not to go all "mom" on you, or anything, but you need to fucking drink some more water. You were wa-a-ay dehydrated the last time I saw you, and if it gets too bad, you won't be able to tell the difference between dehydration and your other symptoms.
That, and I'll be carting your ass to the emergency room instead of student health!
Actually, the doctor thought I might be dehydrated as well, but then she checked my heart and said I wasn't because my heartbeat wasn't fast.
Believe it or not, it's now Friday morning and I'm STILL not entirely better. There's this weird bloated and gassy feeling in the pit of my intestines. I'm going to gulp down some Pepto and attempt to make it through my classes. Here's hoping!
P.S. Mincemeat
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