Fun Morgantown Event #47: I almost got run over by a car this afternoon.While there are plenty of crosswalks in town, they're more like suggestions that have been painted on the pavement more than actual legal markers. It's an accepted rule in this town that waltzing across the street at any given time on any given road is an appropriate method for traveling to and fro. This is especially true on University Ave., which is the road that runs right through the busiest part of campus.
Geographical Note: The new English building is on one side of University Ave., and I teach on the other side of it next to the library. Dozens of students are crossing the street at this point whenever it's time for class change.
This brings me to today. After I finished a rousing two hours of peer review, I attempt to cross the street to the English building. I see the white SUV coming toward me, but accepted WVU practice indicates that said SUV will slow down. Apparently, I didn't get the memo that vehicular manslaughter was null and void if the target could be mistaken for a wayward yeti.
As I'm crossing the street, not only does the car not slow down, but the irate driver, annoyed at this classy English-type ragamuffin who dare cross him, blares his horn at me. HOOOONK HOOOOOONK!! I have to book it across the street before Christine's man-child bowls me over.
I have to admit, I get a bit frustrated with seemingly-suicidal pedestrians wandering into traffic with the expectation that all drivers will stop for them. Driving my car, I know that I've felt the urge to run over my share of students. I consider it a point of pride that I haven't killed anyone yet. Think of the lives I've saved by not committing vehicular homicide on a daily basis!
What I don't understand is why a driver would want to run me over. I wouldn't be a clean kill. I'm 6'5" and above 280 lbs. (I'll be vague regarding just how far over 280 that figure is). I think I'd cause serious damage to an automobile that dared to literally let me get up in its grill. That horn-happy driver would have been better off running down a rabid moose than having to scrape JP blubber out of his engine for the next six months.
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Beware the Ides of March!
2 comments:
xingxingxingxingxingxing
honkhonkhonkhonkhonkhonk
pedpedpedpedpedpedpedped
Honk!
Your mistake here is that you forgot to factor in the weather. When the weather gets anywhere near nice, the drivers in this town (mainly students) go ape shit. All known ped rules go out the window if there's a hint of spring.
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