Nothing to Sneeze At

There are a few bodily inconveniences that I was spared while growing up. I never had to wear braces. I never had asthma. I only broke a bone once (and even then only a hairline fracture). And most importantly, I never had allergies...

until now.

In the last few months, whenever I would come home, something would cause me sneeze all damn day. My immediate suspicions fell on one particular source:

Lord knows that freeloading feline has been enough of a pain in my ass; I figured it was just one more thing to add to my list of grievances against Miss Cleo. Unfortunately, my parents weren't convinced, and I didn't really have any proof. In fact, my mom has had cats in our house since I was born. There's never been a time where our house has been cat-less. So I continued to personally suspect Miss Cleo without really having any definitive proof.

I still don't have any concrete evidence, but I think my case is getting stronger. While I was fine on Friday and Saturday, my sneezing returned with reckless abandon on Sunday. My parents and I continued to speculate on the source of my troubles - me still pointing the finger at my calico Caligula with them arguing that I was just trying to keep from having to take her back... and they may have had a point.

Then when I woke up this morning (at the crack of dawn.... Pacific Time), I noticed that Cleo had accumulated quite the collection in her litter box (her usual walrus-like shits I might add), so I decided to clean it out. Her litter box sits at the top of our basement steps, so I started to sweep down some of the excess kitty litter that had spilled down the stairs. As I did so, cat fur that had accumulated on the stairs as well wafted up around me. I started sneezing and couldn't stop.

Fucking cat was trying to kill me without even knowing it.

My sneezing fit lasted a few minutes, and for the next half hour I felt like I couldn't take a full breath. I took an allergy pill, and I haven't had a problem for the rest of the day. Fortunately, my parents were witness to this whole event. They're still not convinced that I'm allergic to the cat specifically, but they agree that the cat seems to be involved somehow (as though she's an accomplice or something). I've heard that people can be allergic to cat litter and that they make a hypoallergenic cat litter (which I'm sure is so reasonably priced). I still have my bets placed firmly on that cat. I wouldn't be surprised if it's not a true cat allergy; I'll bet I'm allergic just to Miss Cleo. That would just seem right to me.

Adults can certainly develop allergies as they get older, and I hear cats can survive being drowned in a burlap sack. Maybe we should test both theories.

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Miss Cleo: Formerly known as "Satan's Cat."